Dear you,
I know you probably won’t read this which quite frankly is the best for the both of us. I know that what I’m about to write, will shock some and appease others. I’ve had hundreds of conversations with the people in my life who matter most, and they all tell me the same thing. I have to say what I feel - it’s the only way the hurt will cease. This letter is my attempt to poor my entire heart out, and hopefully begin the healing process.
From the moment you and I met, I knew something was there. At least, on my end I had felt it. For years, I had dreamed of the day that I’d meet that one man who would complete me heart, body and soul. Meeting you, completed me. Through all the trials and tribulations I have been through so far, you have been the soul who has kept me on the path to recovery and happiness. Though the feelings I feel for you today are clearly not reciprocated, I feel as though I owe you this. You deserve, through the heartache you have been through over the past couple of years to hear the truth.
The day we first met, and I saw you I knew then you were the man I wanted to be with. There was a youthfulness in your soul, and a electricity in your eyes. Being around you reminded me of the days when I had not a care in the world. We had a way of communicating that it at times extremely confusing but at times, magical. That time we spent together - was so warm. We did not share any true intimate moments, close calls perhaps but nothing traumatic or awkward. I knew where I was - however, was where I wanted to be. Getting ready to leave, we hugged and it was the first time in years that I had truly felt safe and protected. As though, for just that split second, I was finally invincible.
Leaving was the hardest part, as it always is. I realized however, that I was truly falling in love with you. Every day after that, I thought about you all the time. We would talk, and I’d wish with everything I had in me that perhaps you felt at least some of what I felt for you. My feelings for you progressively grew stronger, and I realized when they reached an all time high - I had to tell you the truth. I had to tell you that I love you.
However those plans were sidetracked when news headed my way that you had a girlfriend. Though your happiness is truly what fuels my love for you, it broke me to know that you were sharing those beautiful moments of bliss with someone else. I told myself over and over again I would be okay. I could rebound from it. So far, I have made slow but steady progress in the uphill battle for okay-ness. Loving you, though excruciatingly painful is the most beautiful thing I have felt ever. You are the music to my lyrics, the smile in my day and the butterflies in my stomach. Although I am aware my feelings for you are in no way reciprocated - at least you can know where my heart lies.
I have fallen deeply in love with you. Crazily (yet not stalkerly ha) in love with you.
Now that you know, I can perhaps try to continue the moving on process - but know that my heart will always be with you. You’re my soul and smile. I love you always.
-Me
